There has been this cozy little not-so-official music festival in the countryside of Eräjärvi, Orivesi. For a few times already they have said that this was the last one, that they have ran out of energy to keep on organizing the event. And this summer it was again, one last time of the festival. Also, they had booked a bunch of bands I wanted to see anyway, so it was an easy decision to go there.

July was warm, somewhat warmer than the usual Finnish summer, and on the first day of the festival the weather was sunny and hot. At the moment of writing this I don't quite remember the exact details, but I do remember feeling slightly tired before leaving for the festival. I decided to go there anyway, hoping that all the live music will kindle my party mood. Or, if not, then I can just be there, witnessing the one last time of the festival and contemplating all the memories I have from the previous years of being there. The festival was going to be two days, and for the night in between my plan was to go to the nice beach at Eräpyhä where I've been on many of the earlier years. I packed a hammock and basic camping equipment, bought some mineral water and snacks and went driving to Eräjärvi.

It was less than 10 kilometers to the festival and there was still 45 minutes before the event starts. I decided to have a quick nap to boost my energies, as the last band was going to start at midnight - and for the past few years I've found myself often going to sleep at 10pm instead of the 2 or 3 am what was my normal bed time at the age of 40. There was a quiet roadside parking place, and I stopped there. On the other side of the parking place there was a car with the hood open, and a man with toolbox tinkering with the engine. I felt thankful that I was not in that situation - I was in need of a nap, and having to solve a mechanical problem would've been simply too much for my mental capacity at the moment. I chose a spot in the shade, so that the car won't become too hot, and drifted into slumber. When I woke up the man was still working with the other car. He didn't seem like he'd need my help, so I started the engine and drove off.

As I was leaving the parking place the car sounded an alarm beep, and the oil warning light started blinking. Ah, a condition which is very likely to destroy the engine beyond repair!

I stopped as soon as I could, and went to check the engine oil level. It seemed to be fine. But just to be sure I added a little of oil. For a moment I sat thinking about the situation - I don't know very much about the inner workings of car engines, but somehow I had a feeling that if there is enough oil in the engine but the alarm is on, then maybe it is not anything which will immediately destroy the engine. Lacking the facts to make a rational decision I chose to trust my gut instinct - to drive towards the festival, and then if the engine stalls, I can at least just walk there, enjoy the event and try to solve the car trouble after partying hard. Oh, sweet countryside dirt roads - take me to the festival! Every few hundred meters I gave the car an encouraging pat, cheering it for still running. And in the back of my mind I was hoping that maybe it is related to the hot weather, and it will be all okay when the engine properly cools down. And that the festival will have a lot of people who have both skill and equipment to inspect and fix car trouble, so maybe I can ask if any of them has time to help me tomorrow. Well, the car made it to the festival parking place. I decided to go listen to some music and then think about the car situation when there is no band playing.

The first band was Täryjyrä playing cover versions of classic pieces of (Finnish) rock, and for me it immediately felt like "hey, turn off your brain and just dance". The magic happened a lot faster than I had thought - gone was all the traces of feeling tired, the possible trouble with the car faded away, for at the moment there was nothing I could do about it - nothing but to dance. And I did dance - this is one of the reasons I like this festival, for there often is enough space to leap around wildly, and the sounds are set up so that there is no need for earplugs, yet the volume is enough to make the music physically fully present.

In between each band there is one hour break to change the gear and for the sound check of the next band. I remember that some summers that one hour break has been a little bit boring, for my introvert mind doesn't find it easy to enjoy chatting with random people - and some of the people I know enough to like their personality I often just feel out of words, not having the initiative to start a nice conversation. Sounds like a good time to find someone who can assist with the car situation? I was thinking that probably someone with more experience could do some simple checks to evaluate if the oil warning light is a false alarm, if it is safe to drive back home, or if I'd better get the car fixed before starting the engine again. Oh, but that just didn't happen - I had good time dancing to the music playing on the loudspeakers, and then there was an occasional merry chat with new and old acquaintances.

The following bands were AT's Roots & Ramblin' and then Aston Kalmari. Somehow the time just flew by, I felt like enjoying the moment and leaving the car trouble for later. There were a lot of nice cheerful moments, and felt the festival atmosphere working wonders on my mind, body and soul. Remembering to drink enough mineral water and having a timely cup of strong black coffee was enough to keep me dancing to all the bands. And then it was midnight, time for Eläkeläiset. I don't know if I can explain what Eläkeläiset is - they play humorous humppa versions of well known rock pieces. Humppa was very popular dance in Finland in the 1970's, and already at that time it was something more for adults instead of being youth culture. So, the band name translates as "Pensioners", for the humppa music style is associated with the elder generation. The band has been around since 1993, and for some reason they've been popular in Germany. These guys have been playing to big audiences at Wacken Open Air, and now they were there, playing for an audience of one or two hundred people, at midnight in the Finnish countryside. It was obvious that they all enjoyed being there, for the joy of the music seemed to be a lot more important than the size of the audience. Sure, we did dance the night!

I had already made the decision not to drive the car, and the beach I had been thinking about was too far to walk there. But I had been browsing the map application on my phone, and it looked like there could be suitable places for camping just a short walking distance away. I walked up a small road for half an hour, then going into the woods. After a bit of searching I found what felt like a nice spot to stay for the night. I set up the hammock and the bug net, and soon I was asleep. In the morning I cooked coffee and had simple breakfast. I spent some time searching the net, learning more about the car oil warning light. And the more I read the more likely it felt that if there was a serious trouble the engine would be destroyed already. But, since I made the last kilometers to the festival, I can probably make it back to home. The main decision to make was; if I should try to ask some of the locals to somehow inspect the car - for example, I had learnt that it is possible to use an external sensor to measure the oil pressure to check if the car sensor is broken or if there actually is something wrong with the oil pressure. There were still four hours before the first band of that day - and I felt that if I chose to try to get the engine checked I would spend those hours with potentially inconvenient activities like walking to random houses to ask if they have time and skills to help me. Although, I had to ask myself if it would be a lot more inconvenient if the car happens to break up when driving home after the festival - but in that case I could just set up the hammock again, sleep the night and the next day call my neighbors to find someone to pick me up.

Instead of trying to get the car checked I decided to try find a place to swim at. The map said that the road I was walking takes to an abandoned quarry, and that there are small ponds of water there. I was a bit skeptical - in my mind I saw a pool of purple water saturated with remains of chemicals used in extracting minerals from the quarry. Well, but all the proper lakes were too far away, so I decided to go see how the quarry is. And it was nice! I realized that the pool of water was actually a very big fountain of soil water - after weeks of sunny hot weather the water was all cool and fresh. I took a refreshing swim there.

As I walked back to the festival I could hear the find band already starting. It was Rautakausi. Dancing to the music I felt that the moment is all I need. The next band was another one I had been wanting to see for a long time. Amuri played their version of indie rock, freely adventuring in genres ranging from country to prog. The next band The Skankbeat was something I didn't quite feel home at, but there were enough danceable elements, so I could just focus on the beat and the energy. Nothing to complain about, and the next band Saa kiljua felt like something to give every ounce of my remaining energy to dance to.

It was before midnight. The last band was Freud Marx Engels & Jung Revisited. I started to feel tired, knowing that I have to drive back home with a car that might possibly just break down, so that I'd need to have a bit of stamina left to handle the situation. Luckily enough for me early on in their set they played the song I like the most in their catalogue. Having head that I was ready to leave.

The engine started fine, but pretty soon the oil light started blinking. Every 20 or 30 kilometers I stopped to check the engine oil level - it was fine. So eventually I made it back to home and was happy to sleep in the comfort of my own bed. And, at the moment of writing this I already know how to story unfolded; I booked a time at the local garage, they changed the car oil sensor, and that fixed the issue. The whole operation cost less than 50 €.

Afterwards I've been reflecting on my way of dealing with the car situation. I don't know, but I have a feeling that there are various spiritual and religious views out there which say that your thoughts shape your reality - that if I was convinced that the engine is really about to break down, then my belief could somehow affect the physical workings of the engine, causing a failure. Or, that if I choose to trust Life / God / Universe, then that Greater Force blesses me and protects me from harm, but if I choose to believe in trouble then I will get trouble. Hmmm - I have nothing to argue against such views. I can only say that that kind of mentality doesn't quite resonate with the way I feel about my life.

But, some of the long term readers might remember that years ago I've mentioned the old Tao story about a meat cutter; how an unskilled cutter constantly hits the bones and quickly gets the knife dull, but a talented cutter follows the natural form and shape of the meat, so that pieces fall of effortlessly and the knife stays sharp for a long time. Isn't that just another version of believing that "the better you are at following a Mystery the less unpleasant events you encounter, and if you are a Master you can navigate your life without uncomfortable collisions with any sharp edges"? Well - I'm not educated enough to guess what the writers of that text thought, how exactly did they understand the metaphor, so I can only speak of the way I find it.

First, I feel that the oil level alarm light just happens. And, inherently, or by itself, the alarm is neither good nor bad; the universe does not judge, for all-that-exists-is-all-that-exists. Things take place. And it is human mind which starts to label events as "desirable" or "unpleasant", "good" or "bad". So, I don't believe that what goes on in my mind affects the mechanical workings of the car engine. But, what happens in my mind affects the way I experience those things which happen anyway. With all of my earlier contemplation of facing problems, uncertainty or trouble I found it relatively easy to stay calm just observing and accepting the alarm being on. I mean, I don't have a habit of having emotions like "oh, what have I done to deserve this unpleasant thing taking place? Why now! Is this a punishment for something I did wrong? Or maybe there is a hidden meaning to this, and later on it will make sense". For me this kinds of events don't beg a meaning. They are just life, life taking place. And instead of labeling this event as "something unpleasant" or "an error in the fabric of the existence", I just face it as an event, event worth existing in its own right with no need to have some sort of higher meaning bestowed by an unseen plan.

Going with the metaphor of cutting meat, the alarm light blinking is a bone I encounter in the texture of my life. I can choose either to push against the bone, or just gently follow the contour not applying too much force to make the blade go dull. In this particular case that meant reading more information from the internet, slowly judging the evidence, weighing the options based on gut instinct combined with rational analysis. And all of that sent me swimming in the fresh water of the quarry pond, instead of consuming a lot of time and energy trying to get other people involved because of my own uncertainty or fear of the engine breaking.

Finally, after the festival driving back home in the middle of the night I accepted the fact that since I chose not to get the engine inspected there is a realistic risk of it suddenly getting destroyed beyond repair. Again, I don't think that my attitude, beliefs, emotions or energies would affect the mechanical workings of the engine in any way. But my attitude helped me maintain a peaceful and enjoyable mood while being uncertain about the engine. Or, in the event of engine failure my mood might have made it more easy and comfortable to cope with the situation. The bones are there, no matter if you think about them or not - so the question is how you approach them, how you navigate your life at and around them.

Hehe - of course it is easy to write this now when I know that it was just a false alarm which was not expensive to get fixed. So my decision to go swimming is proven to be "right". But how do I know - maybe if I had chosen to go talk with the locals I would've enjoyed nice and fruitful human interaction, getting the oil pressure measured and having a confirmation that it is safe to drive back home. There is no knowing beforehand, so in any case life is mostly about living in uncertainty, and facing unexpected situations no matter your spiritual or religious beliefs - or, this is the way I see it, not going to preach it to others. If someone feels that their God protects them from unpleasant things if they remember to pray enough, then fine - that is a beautiful and comfortable belief to live according to. For me it is gently and slowly practicing my mind to be flexible like flowing water to find ways around obstacles which will be there anyway.