This small story is from yesterday. I wanted to write, as this relates to many of the earlier posts - one of the long term themes has been me feeling uneasy in social situations, and how some random encounters with unknown people have gradually helped me to let go off some of the anxiety.

I was on a small trip to meet friends in two different cities. Instead of driving I had chosen to take a train, which was a nice. On the first train trip I coded Ancient Savo on a laptop, and on another trip I enjoyed a nap - neither of them not possible if driving alone. On Saturday night it was a ten years celebration concert of the great Litku Klemetti band. It took place in a concert hall with numbered seats, and I was unsure if there is any kind of dance floor there, or if we are supposed to just sit and watch. I felt somehow low on energies - sometimes dancing helps, making me instantly feel joyful and energetic, but this time I somehow felt that just sitting still might be a comfortable way to enjoy the music.

The information said that the concert starts at 19:30, and I estimated that I can catch the last train back to home, leaving at 22:07. Somewhere on-line I found a mention that the concert duration is about two hours. But it also said that there is an intermission. Luckily the venue is not far from the railway station, only 10 minutes walk. And, of course, missing the train would not be a catastrophe, for I could just go sleep on friend's cough and take a train tomorrow morning. Yet, often when I feel low on energies I greatly prefer being alone at home, so I was growing slightly unsure. Like, what if there is a 30 minutes intermission, and the show starts at 19:30, it would end at 22:00. And usually immediately after a show ends there is a long queue to the coat check. For a moment I thought if I should just decide not to hurry for the train. But I realized that my inner urge to go home for the night was stronger, so better give it a chance.

Luckily I arrived at the venue early, having a bit of unhurried time to get oriented. The place has a main concert hall, and a smaller secondary stage, a restaurant and various other attractions. The Litku show was on the secondary stage. Next to the coat service there were regular coat hangers where people could leave their outdoor clothes at their own risk. But I had a laptop in my rug sack - I felt that the risk of it getting stolen was not that big, but still I didn't want to risk it. Ah, there were also lockers - I went to take a closer look. The lockers were operated by anything with RFID, they didn't have physical keys. As I stood there reading the instructions trying to figure out how to operate it, I noticed I'm not alone. There was a couple with a friendly look on their faces, and the man said he can help me to find a free locker. He probably realized how I felt slightly lost, so he said "If you need any practical help or moral support, we are here", in a warm friendly voice without any trace of patronizing attitude. I thanked them saying that this is all a countryside guy can ask for when visiting a city. They mentioned being from Vesilahti, a rural village South-West from Tampere. I told how I hope to catch the 22:07 train, wondering if the locker will be faster to operate than the coat service, and they confirmed. Oh, that was so nice - it all happened so quickly and spontaneously that my social anxiety didn't have time to kick in, I just found myself supported by the gentle flow of the discussion, my life made a nice bit easier by the kindness of unknown people. The last piece of advice was "Take a picture of the locked door, so that you'll be sure to remember where you left our belongings". Ah, indeed - not having a physical key to the locker door that was a good piece of advice, so I took a picture of the locker 35.

The concert itself was great, as usual. I don't know if anyone shot videos (or if it was even allowed, for the venue felt to be a lot more classy than the usual places where indie artists perform). But I found at least one video which seems to be from the 10th year celebration concert on another venue. They played a good mixture of songs from the different phases of the band, old classics and some not-yet-released new songs. It made a cheerful adventure from a genre to another, be it elements of folk, punk or disco they just deliver. There was also a good dose of Litku humour. In a way the pure joy of playing together the musical fireworks peaked with a cover of Deep Purple's Highway Star. Huh!

The intermission was maybe 20 minutes. And three songs for the encore, totally worth every second! When the show ended it was a few minutes to ten pm. I did my best to navigate the unhurried stream of people and was delighted to see that the row of lockers was not all too crowded. I put a card next to the locker door mechanism, but it didn't unlock. Again, I heard the familiar friendly voice next to me. He said: "Ah, don't worry, it will open", and I mentioned it being less than 10 minutes before the train leaves. "You will make it", he said, and offered to open to door for me. I handed him my card, he tried it - this time holding it still for a few seconds until a green light started to blink. "Oh, thank you!". I wore my coat and ruck sag and headed towards the railway station. I tried to run and jog for most of the distance, but felt myself too exhausted to maintain a jog all the time. Down the stairs, through the aisle of a shopping mall, another stairs down, the railway station corridor, a quick look at the info table telling on which platform my train was, and up the escalator. The train was still there - I hopped in and sat down on the first empty seat I found. And the instant I sat down the train started moving. Success! It was a matter of seconds - a bit more of me fumbling to open the locker, and I would've missed the train.

Now, I don't know how were the nice people from Vesilahti. And there probably isn't that much chance of this blog post ever reaching them, but still - thank you very much! It was not just the practical help of enabling me to catch the last train to home - you also contributed towards helping me to let go of some of my trauma baggage. And your example inspires me - that kind of soft welcoming helpful attitude towards strangers definitely is something I want to learn more for my own life too. Or, sometimes I have such an attitude hiding somewhere deep in my mind, but then I just mess up my words, accidentally doing some clumsy gesture, and then my good intentions are blurred by awkwardness. But awkwardness is something which can slowly melt away. Like any other skills, social skills can be learnt by practice. And it is exactly this kind of nice random encounters which, for me, are often the best kind of practice. Taking me by surprise, bypassing a lot of my learnt defenses, leaving a lasting impression.