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22nd of April 2014


How many horses do you have? 2? How many boys and girls? Do you plan foals?
And about depressions: Tommorow I will say it to my teacher..I think that she will send me to the psychologist.. when you had depressions, you could not bring yourself to do anything?

Yeah, these two. Raiku (with light hair) is female, Velmu (the black one) is male. But he is castrated - so there won't be foals. Which kind of a suits me, as otherwise I'd soon run out of resources =) But maybe in the future, if I ever have more land.

Hey, telling a teacher sounds like a good idea! I don't know how they think, but I won't be surprised if some adults try to say that it is all normal - just emotional turbulence which is a part of your age. In that case, I'd advise not to believe them; ask them that sure it won't hurt if you get some more detailed examination. As, all the mental problems are easier to solve the earlier they get diagnosed. So, the thing you could ask is a possiblity to see a professional who could evaluate your situation and your need of further assistance.

Yup, extreme lack of energy was one central symptom of my years of heavier depression. There were days I couldn't get out of the bed. Sometimes I just cried for half a day. Most of the time I felt nothing. Sometimes I got annoyed and furios for apparently no reason at all. Things like that, and occasional problems with concentration and memory. And a lot of problems with social relations. And my social problems were fuelling my depression, making me feel even more isolated and worthless.

Just out of curiosity, as I was writing this, I took a self-test for depression, and answered the questions as I would have answered them seven or eight years ago. And this is what I got:
Major Depression: High
Dysthymia: Extremely High
Bipolar Disorder: Very Slight
Cyclothymia: Very Slight
Seasonal Affective Disorder: High
Postpartum Depression: N/A

Here is the test:

And this is what I got answering the way I feel today:

Major Depression: Very Slight
Dysthymia: Very Slight
Bipolar Disorder: Very Slight
Cyclothymia: Very Slight
Seasonal Affective Disorder: Slight-Moderate
Postpartum Depression: N/A

hmm..accident .. I did this test today too :D

Major Depression: High
Dysthymia: Slight-Moderate
Bipolar Disorder: High-Moderate
Cyclothymia: High
Seasonal Affective Disorder: Very Slight
Postpartum Depression: N/A

reason enough to go ask for furher examinations. I wish you good luck - I hope your teacher is a good person and knows what to do!

Yes she is. I trust her. She's only one good teacher in our school. I hate it.. I want to program, but I can't and I am sad.. I can't learn to school.. no, I am not Lazy if you think it. BEcause I loved programming and reading.. now I am very sleepy too.. everyday.. sometimes when I get up I am sleepy again.. I don't get it.. it's cruel disease.

And: So you never completely get rid of depression? Including me and other people? (If I have it) But I think so

Oh, I do believe that it is possible to recover! Personally I've been kind of a depressed since my early childhood - still I believed that it won't be forever, and tried to keep on crawling out of it. Nowadays I'm happy that I did !

And now you are father, farmer, great programmer and nice man who wants to help.


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