For a background to this train story, let's first tell a short epilogue to the library story. At our local cinema, The Martian had just finished, the credits started to scroll. And everybody else got up and left the theatre. I'm the one who'd like to watch through the credits, enjoying the afterglow of a movie experience, and curious to see if there is a post-credit scene or something. But while the credits were still scrolling, I found myself following the others. I don't know exactly why, as in my hermit state of mind I didn't feel any such a group bonding with the others, no, on the contrary I felt more like being isolated inside my bubble of personal space. But since the theatre is a small one, and we weren't that many people watching the movie, I felt uneasy about being the only one still sitting there, waiting for a possible post-credit scene which might not exists. There was a vague thought in my mind that maybe the staff want to finish their work for the day and get back to their homes, so I don't want to be the one causing them any extra delay. Well, honestly, I don't know - it felt more like my body navigating with an autopilot mode, choosing to go with the others instead of being left behind.

Yesterday early in the morning I drove to Tampere, and boarded a train to Helsinki. Just to meet my friends. For a past few days I've felt more open and energetic, so I felt like temporarily abandoning the hermit bubble of my home. And I intentionally contacted both my friends and some nice people who I haven't met before, or haven't seen for a long time. In a way, meeting new people is always a fresh situation - there aren't yet any ready-made expectations on how to behave and what topics to discuss, and it has often been a challenging situation for me - all too easily I'd just slip into repeating the old ways of hiding my inner self, not really being present in the situation but just waiting for the moment to escape back into the safety of solitude. I think my own life would be a bit more enjoyable and nice the more I get rid of unnecessary hiding and learn to relax in social situations.

After five minutes the train stopped. There was an announcement telling that we are experiencing technical troubles, and that the driver went to inspect. Apparently it was something the driver was able to sort out, as after a while the train started again, and on we went. The train was supposed to arrive at Helsinki at around midday, and I had agreed to meet my friends at 2 pm, so it wouldn't be a problem for me if the train runs late. After a while there was an another announcement, and it started with "Hey passengers, hold onto your seats!" - everybody was alerted, it sounded a bit like we are going to crash into something. But, luckily it was the opposite - something in the train controls kept freezing, and caused the engine to automatically to brake to halt. Again, the driver went to re-boot the systems, and we made it to the next station. There they gave an another announcement, telling that the passengers have two options to choose on - either to stay on this train, as they try to make it all the way to Helsinki but they can't guarantee how long it will take - or then leaving the train and boarding the next train to Helsinki, which will stop at this station after fifteen minutes. I thought to myself that since I'm not hurried, I can just stay on board and see how it goes. Most of the other passengers left the train, and only a handful of people stayed.

New passengers from the station tried to board the train, but they gave an announcement telling them not to take the risk. And, apparently, they also locked the doors to prevent new passengers from boarding. So, the handful of us still inside the train found ourselves trapped inside a train. The whole situation was unusual, and already after the first announcement I saw some passengers commenting the situation with their unknown fellow passengers. Yes, in Finland we have this rather common habit of not to talk with strangers in public transport. But it is unusual situations like this, which break the habit and make the unknown people to pay attention to each other. And, indeed, as a member of a random bunch of people trapped inside a broken train, I was also discussing the situation with the others. Should we go seek for train personnel, asking them to let us out? Or just stay seated and hope that eventually the train will start and we will make it to Helsinki? Or are we desperate enough to knock the windows, hoping to catch the attention of station personnel so that they could help us escape the train? I suggested we all go to the restaurant compartment, and ask the train company to offer us free coffee / tea as a compensation for the inconvenience. But before we were able to reach a conclusion, there was a new announcement; they had decided to cancel this train, so we won't be leaving the station anytime soon. They kindly asked all the remaining passengers to board the next train. And they opened the doors, letting us out.

Out at the platform I noticed that we had formed a group of four passengers - a couple bit older than I am, me, and a violinist. In the first train we were seated in adjacent seat rows, so maybe that made us to stick together. I wondered if the next train will be full of people, if it will be possible to find seats, or if we end up standing on the aisles. The lady of the elder couple was anxious to relocate, somehow she thought that an another place would give us better changes to find seats in the new train. At first her husband didn't want to go, he preferred to stay with our freshly formed spontaneous group. But apparently the lady didn't feel such a herd bonding, so she left without her husband, which made the husband to change his mind - he followed his wife, and I considered the group disbanded. Which was not a problem for me, I was more like back to the normal "don't interact with the strangers" - mode. The new train arrived at the station, I started heading towards the last cars thinking that they are likely to have less passengers than the ones in the middle. And I noticed the violinist walking near me, and unintentionally I switched back to herd mode - soon we were communicating which door to choose. No words were used, it was all just body language. We ended up in the restaurant compartment of the new train, sharing a table. We exchanged couple of comments about the situation, and then returned into our typical Finnish bubbles of personal space. The violinist was reading a book, I wrote a letter to my friends. And, in a way, I felt it nice to share a table with a stranger. It was a bit like surviving an unusual and somewhat worrying situation, and subconsciously seeking the safety of ones own herd, sticking together with the others.

After finishing a passage of my letter, I put the pen and paper aside and consciously decided to break the silence. After all, the whole purpose of my trip was to meet people, to deliberately put myself into situations where I don't need to hide my inner personality, but where I can share with the others. To learn to relax in the presence of other people, to learn to show my true personality, to learn more about enjoying social situations. So I asked the violinist if she'd like to have tea or coffee, as I for one need a mug of coffee. At first she declined, saying that we will soon be at Helsinki so there isn't such a need to pass time - but then she remembered something and suggested me to bring just two mugs of hot water. I did, and the violinist gave me a packet of herbal infusion to be mixed with the hot water. There we were, sipping our warm drinks and sharing our thoughts and feelings. And I very much enjoyed the atmosphere of the situation - we didn't introduce each other, we didn't change contact information, as we both knew that we are not going to meet again and there is not a need to break the anonymity. Our brief discussion was quite like poetry - sharing the fleeting expressions of how it feels to be travelling to Helsinki.

Well, my actual stay at Helsinki was packed with more of extremely enjoyable discussions and nice social situations. Once again, there might be many interesting themes to write about, kind of a continuing live conversations in a written format. But for now I choose not to do so. In the late evening I boarded a train back to Tampere, and arrived there at midnight. (EDIT: While travelling back to Tampere, half asleep in a train, I thought about this particular piece of music.) I headed to my friends' place, where my car was parked. After sleeping tight and sharing a morning coffee with pleasant chat, I drove back home.

The weather was fine, and after taking care of some basic household chores I decided to go for a walk with the horses. For a while I thought how to arrange it - yes the horses get along pretty well, but they prefer not to walk right next to each other. So, if I'm walking in front of them, having a lead rope in each hand, the horses somehow manage to follow me, constantly trying to balance their need for personal space with what the length of a lead rope allows. I decided that it is time to see if Monica will follow us without a rope. Thinking of my own experience of herd movement when boarding the new train with the violinist, I thought that sure a horse as a herd animal will choose to stay with the herd instead of running away all alone. So I put their halters on, and swung Monica's lead rope around her neck, and tied the other end of the rope to the halter. In a way she was carrying her lead rope on her neck, in case I need to grab back the rope to lead her. (With late Velmu I often just diconnected the rope, trusting that if need be, I can call Velmu and re-attach the rope). We left the yard, I was leading Raiku and Monica went carrying her rope.

Soon there was a place where electric lines cross the road we were on. Monica wanted to go exploring the area under the electric lines, leaving the road. Raiku stopped, not willing to continue forwards without her fellow horse. I gently told Raiku that I'm in a leading position; instead of following others, I make the decisions where to go, and the others will follow me. And that it is same with Raiku and Monica, as Monica respects Raiku's leadership, there is no need to follow Monica if she takes an another route. So, we stood still for a while, and since I was carrying pieces of carrot, I offered one to Raiku. That encouraged her to follow me, and as soon as we took couple of steps onwards, Monica turned around and ran after us. We went walking up and down a path in the woods, and returned back to the small road. On we went, and after a while Monica again offered to take an another route. Again Raiku stopped standing still, turning her ears around following the sounds of Monica moving. But this time Raiku agreed to follow me, even without a carrot as a reward. We walked on, and pretty soon Monica decided that she doesn't want to be left behind, so she ran to join her herd.

Now, I don't know if this makes sense to anyone who hasn't experienced similar kind of problems with social sharing. But I remember that earlier in my life I've had serious problems with being honestly present with the horses - just like with fellow humans. Like, of course my body is there, but a large portion of my mind seems to be elsewhere, lost in the closed sphere of distant thoughts, not really opening up to share the presence with other beings. And the horses, they sense and react to that kind of stuff. Now I saw couple of times Raiku showing signs of bonding - she momentarily sped up to walk nearer to me, gently touched my arm with her nostrils, and then resumed her position walking behind me. That's like saying "it's nice to be here with you" in horse language.

All in all, it has been en extremely nice and refreshing weekend!