That's what I expected, I won't bother you about this anymore because I think people should never be pushed. The reason why I asked you to arrange is that I'm a bit of an outsider and completely unconnected because I don't use social media. Those people are missing you and you participating would have been a major attraction.

However, your answer provided an interesting idea that might interest even readers who don't have any connection to our 1990s philosophy student group. Something that I think is the greatest fault in Finnish culture. What could it be? Let's find out!

Finnish culture lacks personal freedom in every level. Society pressurises us as do our families, friends and spouses. Most mental breakdowns in our social circles are caused by nagging wives or girlfriends.

The state controls people by poisoning our most intimate personal relationships. The parents teach their kids to fear failure because they fear the kids won't survive the competition otherwise. (The fear of failing makes you fail. I recommend the book "The Inner Game of Tennis" if you haven't already read it.) The friends and spouses try to help but if you push a fearing person you just make him fear even more. In every contact to outer social world Finns expect to find manipulation, competition or both. I talked to a guy working in employment office telling they're trying to help but people are too suspicious to cooperate. Most customers are fully dependent on benefits and fear saying anything "wrong".

Society etc. fears that otherwise we end being freeloaders but while we usually just want to be left alone, we try to minimise the abuse we're experiencing by cutting our social connections, ditching our dreams and plans and having as little to do with evil external world as possible.

We're constantly in a defensive mode. The lack of trust and more or less veiled aggression making it next to impossible to build any connection to other people. John Lennon's song Working Class Hero is a good depiction of Finnish mindset. The difference you meet in, say, Sweden, Germany, or United States is considerable. People are friendlier, more relaxed, and most of all having plans for the future. Not dreams but something they're already working on.

This isn't anything new. You can read it in 1960s sociology books, the impressions of Finnish immigrants in USA 100 years ago, and you'd probably find even earlier sources if you tried.