if i have to place the emotions while i had read this entry, in one emote it would be this on, :'), my eyes are getting slightly wet. it's always a pleasure to read about your stories, with self-reflection, the cultural trained insecurities, the light which will guide one if you are together with a good friend while you lost your self ( great mug "example"[these kind of similarities are sometimes really hard to differ with fictional examples, real ones and self experienced ones sometimes :') ), and here i ran out of vocabulary to express my self again, normally i would had deleted this text, but not by erkka, not by a person who has seen darker places than i could come up on my mind.
And Today he owns his own small "farm" where he tries to live as sufficient as possible step by step each year a Euro less which needs to be spend, and along with the planned summer pause, with the idea it can't go worse than to be in high debt and surpassed the last down phase. :) ... wait i should read the blog in the other direction atfirst the next time ( just now recognized that i goes from the newest to the oldest entry ^^')... my argument is still the same :)

actually i do this dance which you had describe really good: "This brings us to an another reflection. As, overcoming an emotional block or letting go of inner fears might not be a matter of "do it once and then it is done." It is not like switching lights on. No, especially when there are many layers of fear, doubt and panic"

while i still search the essence or the new way about the old questions. --- the unability to talk to persons sits deep in my personal pattern(along with a speech disorder) , i don't say a disability to communicate, i mean talking to each others, or to recognize expressions of the other, (tune gestures etc.). And i may interpret to much in journals. but that may be the translations from Finnish to english and than in german too.
Kudos from Germany, Near Bremen

not Finnish comfort *hug*, thank you again that you had started this Blog, along with personal entries besides daily life etc. :)