Yes, alone =)

This autumn I've felt an irresistible need for solitude. A need to focus on my persistent emotional problems, diving deeper to the subconscious layer of the bodymind, as the root cause of my problems seems to dwell in the depths. And for me it is easier to approach those depths when I'm alone. (Although, as an extra support I've also arranged appointments with my therapist. Plus the precious meditation calls with Clementine.)

When playing a drum alone it is not about a musical perfromance for an audience to hear. It becomes more like a path inwards. Each beat feels as a resonance in the body, I listen to how that feels and what kind of bodily memories arise from those sensations. Sending the drum beat vibrations down to the internal organs, to the very deepest layer of muscles. For I think those bodily functions are involved in carrying our emotional states (and memories). Beating the drum becomes like knocking on the cellar doors of the soul; "knock knock, can I open this door to see what is stored behind?"