Your english is fine, no problem =)

I was about 12 years old when we got our first computer - it was Commodore 64, and it was the early years of home computers. At first we played games with my brothers, but quickly went to learning to program. It felt like a brand new universe to be discovered, learning how to make things happen on computer screen. And sure it was fun. Later on when PC-computers became more popular, I learned some pascal and C and 8086 assembly language. It was still fun, as technology was developing, and it was interesting to learn to master all the new possibilites. And it was around these times when Sami started UnReal World, and we had several other projects, too. For me it was just one hobby among the others, something nice and interesting to do. And I greatly enjoyed working together with Sami, so there was a social aspect too.

In my adult life I never tought of myself as a programmer, I went on doing other things, and hardly touched a compiler for years. But since URW is such a great project, and Sami is one of my best friends, I've been helping him with coding some pieces - once again just for the fun of it.

Now, living in the countryside, I'm more and more beginning to feel that I'd like to do more programming. Yup, you are right - it is totally different than being out in nature. But it is something I can do at home - no need to drive a car to get somewhere to earn money. My friend runs a mill, and they need custom software. So for past couple of years I've been developing for them, which has been a combination of fun and earning money. Which also makes me feel that I should do less massage and have more time to program for the mill and for Sami.

Right now when I'm typing this, I only need to look out of window to see my horses. Whenever I need a break from coding, I can just stand up and go outdoors and find myself surrounded by nature. With massage it is always more tied to pre-arranged timetables; customers make reservations, and I book times for them. Then, if I wake up in the morning and see that it will be a warm sunny day I can't just call the customers and cancel their times (or, maybe I could, but that way I'd soon run out of customers, I guess...) But more coding would also mean more freedom to schedule my days as I wish.

Oh, here I'm kind of a thinking aloud - but that's partly because I've been thinking about this for a year or two. And now I finally feel confident about reducing massage and going more into programming.

Well, all in all - I believe that most of the time it is good to follow ones inner feeling. But of course it is hard if nothing feels interesting - then that sounds more like symptoms of depression or existential emptiness. Which, I belive, is pretty common for modern people. If so, then I'd guess that the best thing to do is to allow oneself to experiment with different things, maybe travelling, trying different arts and hobbies etc. You never know if the treasure is hidden behind a corner - you just have to go out exploring =)

ps. In that picture, as I'm waiting for the water to boil, and listening to birds singing, I'm also lazily thinking about URW quest system. Planning data structures. And that is what I love in programming - it is such a work which feels pretty easy to combine with my way of living.